Indoda eyodwa, abesifazane abahlanu eLas Vegas
Ake ngihlale ngithembeke kuwe ngqo ku-bat, I-string encane ye-g ebusweni bakho ayihlekisayo. Ngempela, akunjalo. Kungani ngitsho lokhu?
Njengoba umkami ekhokhela le steroid, ethatha, u-Adonis, obuka izinyane ukuze anginike umdanso wendophi njengengxenye yomzamo wami wokulungisa ukubheja nokukwazisa abesifazane ekuzijabuliseni eLas Vegas, ngase ngilahlekelwa yisisu sami. Lo mfana wasalahlekelwa izinto ezimbalwa kusuka e-spandex thong yakhe njengoba edansa amasentimitha avela ekhaleni lami.
Lokhu konke kwaqala ngokungenacala ngokubheja umkami okwenzile mayelana namaqembu e-bachelorette njengento enkulu elandelayo eLas Vegas. Ngokuyinhloko, wayenombono wokuthi kwakukhona abesifazane abaningi abajabulela ubusuku obudlule kunamadoda kulezi zinsuku. Ukucaphuna kwakhe okuqondile kwakuwukuthi, "Abesifazane bagqoka amabhulukwe emakhaya amaningi kulezi zinsuku ngakho bakhululiwe baze bafune ukuzijabulisa kwabantu abadala. Yebo, empeleni bafuna ukushiya izingane kanye nabayeni ekhaya ebusuku ebusuku. "
Ngavuma ukuthi abesifazane bafuna ukuzijabulisa , kodwa umqondo wokuthi nje ngoba ngihlala ekhaya nsuku zonke angigqoke ibhulukwe, kuhle, angicabangi kanjalo. Uphikelela ukuthi angathola abesifazane abaningi abanamaqembu e-bachelorette eLas Vegas kunamadoda nokuthi kufanele ngigxile kancane ekuzijabuliseni kwabesifazane.
Ukuze wenze le ndaba ende isisekelo futhi isifushane, wayeseqinisile. Izinhlobo zesilisa zangiyeke phansi njengoba ekwazi ukuthola amaqembu ayishumi nanhlanu wabesifazane embusweni wokugubha, ngingangena kuphela ama-bachelors ayisithupha.
Laba besifazane babethathe i Las Vegas ngakho ngavuma ukugxila kancane kubesifazane kanye nezidingo zabo futhi kwadingeka ngivumelane nobusuku edolobheni nomkami nabangane bakhe abambalwa.
Ngakho ubusuku baqala nami ukuba ngihlale embukisweni nabasilisa base-Australia kanye ne "Thunder kusuka Downunder", e-Excalibur.
Lokhu kwakungakhokhelwa okuyingxenye njengoba ngichazile ukuthi ngangihlezi nesisebenzi esivela e-Olympic Gardens esasiyi-Australia. Ngachaza ukuthi njengengxenye yocwaningo lwami kwakudingeka ukuthi ngixoxisane nabesifazane beqembu lama-gentlemen's. Ngaleso sikhathi wayengabonakali engqondweni, kodwa ngokungaqondile, angizange ngizizwe ngidinga ukuzwa umfana ongeyena enhlebeni yami, "Ungumuntu omncane we-bloke."
Wathanda njengoba kwenza abangane bakhe.
Nginomuntu ojabulisayo akazange ameme noma ubani etafuleni lethu, kodwa ngiyabona ukuthi kungani i-Australia enhle e-Olympic Gardens yashiya izwe lakubo, labafana bafumana kancane i-swaty for my taste. Ngempela, ubani oshaya isifuba sakhe njengaleyo?
Njengoba lo mdlalo usuphelile sasiba naso isikhathi sokuxoxisana ngokuphela kokuhlwa njengoba sisheshe sifike embukisweni wethu olandelayo, "Madoda: i-Show". Ekuqaleni ngacabanga ukuthi sibheke enkampanini yamaComedy Comedy "The Man Show", kodwa ngeshwa kwakungekho ndawo eduze kwalokho. Akuyona intombazane eyodwa ku-trampolines endaweni. Ngikholelwa ukuthi ubhiya abukho futhi. Kusukela kulokho engatshelwe khona, i-Apple martinis yayinhle. Ngazama ukugeza mina esimweni esidakiwe esinikezwa umngane wami uJohnny Walker.
Kufanele ngitshengise ukuthi abesifazane ngokuchaza kukhona izidalwa ezikhangayo ezikhangayo. Abesifazane banemikhakha kanye nokulinganisa ubuciko obuhle. Madoda, kahle, asihlosiwe ukuboniswa nokuboniswa. Ifomu lesilisa alithandeki; Ngangempela, ngingathanda ukuvula izibani lapho ngidla. Amantombazane, sinezinto eziningi okuzosinika enhliziyweni nasengqondweni.
Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi abesifazane abaningi bayavumelana nalokho.
Njengoba sashiya lo mbukiso eRivira amantombazane azama ukusibona abadansa beChippendales eRio kodwa bebevele benombukiso wabo wokugcina.
Yeka amahlazo, noma ngabe ngicabanga.
Ngifanele ngiqaphele ukuthi uma usuka ekamelweni eligcwele labesifazane ebukela abantu abashadile futhi uthola esilandelayo ngemuva kwe-limousine eselulekile nabahlanu kulaba besifazane izinto zithokozisa kakhulu. Akukho lutho olungcolile noma lutho ngaphandle kwala makantombazane alungele ukufika ekhaya futhi enze amadoda abo ajabule. Ngaqala ukuzindla ngenhlanhla yami enhle. Ngesikhathi i-Limimo isima, ngaphahla ngibona ukuthi amantombazane ayenele ngokwanele futhi bangithatha "emigodini ye-Olympic" njengomnikelo wokuthula.
Ngizovuma ukuthi ngichitha isikhathi esiningi ngifaka isikhala ne-whiskey kulobu busuku, kodwa lokho engingakuqondi ukuthi ngikhohlwe kanjani ukuthi isitezi sesibili senkampani yothando lomncintiswano sinikeza i-revue yama-male.
Ngakho ngagcina ngine-thong yesiliva, ngilinde, i-spandex, i-thong yesiliva, ivule umthamo wayo ukuxubha ngesifuba sami njenge-chinchilla ebheka ukukhwela. Bengingeke ngikhululeke kakhulu.
Ngokuqondene nabesifazane, babekujabulela ukungibheka ngidlala kodwa kamuva bavuma ukuthi abadinga ngempela abantu abadansa ukuba bajabule.
Umkami waphuma kusihlwa ngokuba nomunye wabaduni besilisa ehlezi emlenzeni wami futhi azame ukukhuluma kahle kwe-Australia '"Goodday, womlingani?" Kwakuyisici esibi futhi isidumbu sakhe sasicishe sithukuthele kakhulu khakis yami.
Ngakho-ke, uma uzithola uhambahamba ngekhasino futhi ubona iqembu labesifazane eligubha ukuwa komunye udade emigqatsheni yomshado ogcwele, yazi ukuthi abesifazane lawa mazinsuku bagqoka amabhulukwe, futhi bafanelwe ukuphuma futhi babe nokuncane okujabulisayo, uma nje bengenzi ukuthi ugqoke izingubo zangaphansi ezincane, zesiliva, ze-thong ngobusuku obulandelayo.