Okufanele ugqoke, Okunikezwayo, Nendlela Yokubhekana Nezimo Eziqinile
Ulungele isizini somshado ku- NYC ? Imishado ihloswe ukuba kube izikhathi zokugubha, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ziphakamisa izimo eziphathekayo zokuzijabulisa zezivakashi. Kufanele usebenzise malini isipho sakho somshado ku-NYC? Ungakwazi yini ukuletha isivakashi? Usho kanjani ukuthi cha ngokuthi ube ngumshadisi? Ungakwazi yini ukugqoka izingubo ezimhlophe ezishisayo kumshado womngani wakho?
Sabuza uManhattan-isazi sokwaziswa komshado u-Elise MacAdam, umlobi we- Something New: I-Wedding Etiquette ye-Rule Breakers, abaNkokeli Bokuziphatha, Nabo Bonke Abaphakathi , ukuphendula imibuzo ejwayelekile kakhulu efika eNew York City izivakashi zomshado.
Wedding Guest Dilemma # 1: Yini okufanele ngiyenze mayelana nesipho somshado? Ingabe ngiyithenga ebhalweni? Nikeza imali? Malini? Kufanele ngiyilethe emshadweni?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Ayikho imithetho mayelana nezipho zomshado kanti ngenkathi leyo nqubomgomo isebenza emhlabeni jikelele, ikakhulukazi eNew York lapho abantu bevela khona izizinda eziningi ezihlukene ngamasiko ahlukene. Abanye bavele banikeze imali, ezinye izipho kuphela, njll Kwakukhona imithetho eminingi eNew York yekhulu le-19, lapho imibhangqwana yomshado ithemba ukuthi izivakashi ziyakugwema ukunikeza izipho, ikakhulukazi izinto ezinjengama-linens noma izindlu zangasese ezacatshangwa ukuthi zingakanani kokusondelana.
Okubalulekile ukuthi izivakashi akudingeki "zikhokhele amapuleti azo" futhi ayikho imali enqunyiwe yezipho. Kufanele banikeze lokho abakwazi ukukukhokhela nokuthi yini abazizwayo njengokunikela. Uma bephukile kakhulu ukunikeza noma yini, kufanele bathumele umbhangqwana womshado ikhadi behalalisela futhi bethi bajabule kanjani ukuba bafakwe kulo mkhosi.
Ngokuvamile, akuwona umqondo omuhle wokuletha izipho kumshado uqobo. Abashadikazi abashadile bazobe benamathele ukuzama ukuthola indlela yokuthola konke ekhaya ekupheleni kokukwamukela futhi amathuba okuba ulahlekelwe noma aphukile okwamanje aphezulu kakhulu kunokuba ngabe wawuthunyelwe.
Wedding Guest Dilemma # 2: Umngane omdala kodwa ongeyena osondelene nami wangicela ukuba ngibe semcimbini wakhe womshado. Ngiye ngaba ngumlingani oshade naye izikhathi eziyisithupha eminyakeni emithathu edlule futhi angikwazi ukuyikhokhela manje. Ingabe ikhona indlela yokukhishwa ibheyili?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Okulindelwe abantu abanabo abashadile nabo baqhubeka bekhula futhi bebiza kakhulu.
Kunezindlela zokugwema, kodwa kuphela ngokudla okudliwayo nokuziphatha okuhle.
Umakoti ungumngani wakho futhi kufanele azi izimo zokuphila kwakho. Ngaphambi kokuba wenqabe umsebenzi, khuluma nomakoti bese umtshela mayelana nokulinganiselwa kwakho. Uma unesidingo esincane kakhulu, akudingeki ulahlekelwe udumo (ungase ungadingeki ngisho nokuthenga ingubo). Uma kufanele ube ngumlobokazi womlobokazi kuphela noma omunye wabantu abambalwa kuphela, kuyoba nzima kakhulu ukwehlisa isicelo, kodwa kuzoba lula kuwe ukuthi ukhulume nomngane wakho ngokulinganiselwa kwakho kwezezimali futhi ufinyelele uhlobo oluthile yokwehlisa. Ngempela, akekho okufanele ahambe ezikweletu ukuze abe ngumshadisi.
Yiqiniso, uma umshado womshado ukhulu kakhulu, kuzodingeka utshele umngane wakho ukuthi awusesimweni sokuthatha ukuzibophezela ngokwezimali futhi ungafuni ukuvumela noma ubani phansi. Yisho ukuthi ujabule ukuthi ucelwa ukuba ube emshadweni kodwa ucabanga ukuthi uzobe ukhululekile kakhulu uma uhlala ungumvakashi wezombusazwe.
Wedding Guest Dilemma # 3: Ngimenyelwe emshadweni womsebenzi wami. Igama lami kwakunguyedwa ekumenyweni. Angicabangi ukuthi uyazi ukuthi nginesoka lesiphila. Ingabe mina i-RSVP kokubili noma kufanele ngihambe ngedwa?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Lokhu kwenzeka lapho udinga khona ngempela ukukhuluma nomngane wakho.
Akufanele ungeze omunye ongamenyiwe ekhadini lakho lokuphendula futhi kufanele uvele ubonise nesoka lakho. Njengoba usubudlelwane obunesikhathi eside, wena nomlingani wakho kufanele nimenywe emishadweni njengombhangqwana. Akukho lutho olubi ngokubuza ngokuzithoba uma wena nesoka lakho lingaya emshadweni ndawonye. Uma utshelwe ukuthi kufanele uhambe ngedwa, ungakhetha ukuhamba ngokwakho noma uhlale umshado.
Wedding Guest Dilemma # 4: Nginengubo emhlophe engiyithandayo futhi ngibheka kakhulu kulo. Akubukeka njengengubo yomshado. Ngingayigqoka kumshado womngani wami?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Kungani uvuselela imbiza? Ngokuvamile kubhekwa sengathi isimo esingalungile ukugqoka umhlophe kumshado ngaphandle kokuba ungumakoti futhi uhambe kulowo mqobo kungakuthola kalula ukubukeka okungcolile.
Yiqiniso, kukhona okungafani kule nqubomgomo.
Ngesinye isikhathi ushada ukugqoka abahlukumezi babo ezimhlophe futhi kukhona imibhangqwana lapho izivakashi ziyala khona ukuba zigqoke abamnyama noma abamhlophe (Truman Capote yenze lesi sitayela senkampani idume ngokuhlonishwa kwayo ngo-1966 Black and White Ball ehlonipha uKatherine Graham e-Plaza Hotel).
Kodwa ngaphandle kokuthi wazi ngokuphelele ukuthi ngeke ubukeke sengathi uzama ukuntshontsha ukukhanya komlobokazi, thola okunye ukugqoka. Cabanga ngalokhu njengethuba lokuthenga.
Wedding Guest Dilemma # 5: Ngimenyelwe edilini lokuzibandakanya. Ingabe kufanele ngilethe isipho?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Azikho izigunyazo zamanje zokubandakanya amaqembu. Kuyinto ephelele kuwe. Uma ufuna ukuthola okuthile, akudingeki uhambe ngokweqile. Izipho ezikhangayo, ezithengekayo ezifana newayini, ushokoledi, noma ezinye izidakamizwa ezithakazelisayo ziyizinketho ezinhle futhi azijwayele ukugqithiswa ngokweqile nge-symbolism, ngakho ungabapha ngaphandle kokucabanga kanzima mayelana nesenzo.